Kristen Talks Dialogue

Grammar and punctuation are like personal hygiene: when done well, it’s nearly imperceptible; when lacking, it’s distracting, limiting, and potentially debilitating to the intended audience.

Fortunately, grammar and punctuation are easier to fix than bad BO. The most common errors I see? Formatting and punctuating dialogue. Here are the most frequent mistakes I've observed and how to fix them.

1. Using a period between dialogue and dialogue tags

Written dialogue consists of two elements: what’s being said (the spoken dialogue) and who’s saying it (the tag). Both of these are part of the same thought and, as such, should be contained in the same sentence. Instead of a period, use a comma between dialogue and dialogue tags.

Incorrect: “There’s a house over there.” Robert said.

Fixed: “There’s a house over there,” Robert said.

Also, if your dialogue tag is at the start of your sentence, the same rules apply; separate the tag and the spoken dialogue with a comma.

Fixed, version 2: Robert said, “There’s a house over there.”

2. Multiple speakers in the same paragraph

This mistake happens in snappy, back-and-forth conversations, wherein one character interrupts the other. The intent is to convey the abruptness of the cut off, but the punctuation already does that (typically via an em dash). Squishing all the dialogue into one paragraph actually underscores the interruption because it buries it in the other character’s dialogue. Instead, use a new paragraph every time the speaker changes.

Incorrect: “You have betrayed me, my family, and the trust we placed in you. Pack your things and get out.” “But—” “Out!”

Fixed: “You have betrayed me, my family, and the trust we placed in you. Pack your things and get out.”

“But—”

“Out!”

3. Too many (or too few) quotation marks for extended monologues

It’s your classic villain, monologuing his plan to the trapped hero; the servant girl sharing local history; the coach giving a ra-ra speech to the team at halftime: for whatever reason, you’ve got a character who needs to talk for a long time, uninterrupted, in a multi-paragraphical monologue. Most writers either include quotation marks at the start and end of every paragraph of the monologue or only include a quotation mark at the beginning of the first paragraph and again at the end of the last paragraph. Both are incorrect.

Punctuating a long monologue is tricky because you need to communicate to the reader that the same speaker is talking the entire time. To that end, the first method fails because, to the reader’s eye, it's formatted and punctuated the same way a conversation would be. However, the second method is no better because, again, to the reader’s eye, there’s no distinguishing where the monologue ends and the book’s narrator continues.

The correct way of formatting a multi-paragraphical monologue is to put quotation marks at the start of every paragraph but not at the end, until the final paragraph, at which point you would cap off the monologue with a final quotation mark.

Fixed: “You remind me of your mother at that age—she loved to ride horses too. Would get up at the crack of dawn and be gone all day, exploring different trails. Then that boy came along and explored with her. He was there the day she fell off her horse…(start flashback that will cover several paragraphs)...

“After that, the two of them were inseparable. School, church, the stables—heck, I even remember her intentionally getting detention once so they could be together during that…(more monologue, more flashbacks)...

“Everything changed that day. What was once inseparable found a way to be separated, but it wasn’t without a cost. He left town without a word, and your mother…she never rode again.”

And that’s it! Of course, there’s more to punctuating and formatting dialogue than any one blog post could cover, which is why we are here. Our editing services include copyediting and proofreading to look for these errors and correct them before publishing to ensure that your readers can focus on the heart of your work, without the silly distractions of grammar BO.

#Editing #Dialogue #WritingDialogue #Punctuation